I have always dreamt of being a standup comedian. It is a secret dream; a dream that I hold close to my heart; a dream that I whisper to myself on lonely days; a dream that keeps me alive and kicking through the thick and thin of life. When I watch my favorite comedians on stage, I know that this is my world, this is where I belong. Managing a team of software engineers and overseeing project deliveries is not really my cup of tea. Rather, it is the bowl of rice, that feeds my family. Money is a factor that underlines my career choice. But, it is not the only factor. Stage fright and crowd phobia are the key deterrents preventing me from pursuing my passion. Crowds intimidate me. My hands tremble, my knees shiver and my teeth clatter when I face an audience. Blurting out jokes in this state of mind and body, is the last thing one can imagine.
I have the reputation of being smart, witty and humorous even in the most mundane of occasions. My childhood friends chime that, I have more humorglobin in the blood than hemoglobin. My colleagues at work have given me the title of “sit down comedian” — a compliment for the jokes that I crack and a solid reminder of the stage fear I harbor and the laziness I personify. I like the title, for it makes me feel a step closer to my dream. But, first of all, I have to get rid of my glossophobia.
I have tried breathing techniques, meditation, laughter therapy and the likes to calm myself down before presentations. I have also attempted distracting myself from the topic, hoping that it would reduce the number of butterflies fluttering in the abdomen. But, this approach has backfired. I swallowed my lines and stood staring blankly at the audience. Experience has taught me that, nervousness and preparedness are directly proportional. Cutting down on one takes the life out of the other. It is better to be biting lips and chewing nails, if that would lead to a well rehearsed delivery of the content. Prepared or unprepared, getting a stage to perform on, is a battle in itself. Especially for the novice, who the world has no clue about.
If I want the world to give me chances, I have to take chances with my choices first. I have to be willing to risk my image, and show up with courage. I have to grab every opportunity that comes my way, however insignificant or irrelevant it may seem in the bigger scheme of things. So, when the HR partner of my business unit invited me to host the quarterly awards ceremony at my workplace, I jumped at the opportunity. They had called me because of the faith they had in my public speaking skills. I cannot afford to disappoint them at any cost. I made up my mind that, this was the stage to unleash my creative spirits; to shed my inhibitions and perform like a rock star. After all, this was a safe space, among a known audience, who loved and respected me for my capabilities. The crowd would definitely not judge or ridicule me, if I faltered. I decided to convert the official townhall and awards ceremony of my company into my debut standup comedy stage.
The event materialized on a Thursday, in a fully packed auditorium. On this fateful day, Murphy was at his best. All that could go wrong went wrong. The mike had trouble, the clicker would not change the slides at the right time, the audio got muted, the screen went blank at times and I forgot a few lines too. It was a tragedy of all sorts. But, the humorist in me turned it into a tasteful comedy of errors. The audience was in splits! While the leaders on stage were twiddling their thumbs helplessly and the technicians were fixing the issues frantically, I was standing on stage as cool as a cucumber and giving running commentary on every mistake or glitch that happened. I honored Murphy by calling out his name and prepping the audience on what to expect next, in the pandemonium of sorts. The crowd loosened up and enjoyed this unexpected entertainment. So, did I. The otherwise dull and serious townhall turned into a laughter riot, with senior leaders joining suit and cheering along. The HR crew was mighty impressed. They thanked me for saving the day and for engaging the 500+ people in times of chaos. The award ceremony was a grand success. The site leaders and several members from the audience applauded me for my “natural humor” and stage presence. They told me that I should do this more often. I had successfully cracked my debut stand-up stage!
All this would not have been possible if not for the three changes I brought about in my thoughts and actions.
- Belief in my abilities
- Courage to attempt comedy on a serious stage
- Presence of mind to convert problems into opportunities
More stages beckoned in future. I embraced them with gratitude. I continue to enthrall crowds with my wit and impromptu humor. Most of these are known folks with whom I feel safe and at ease. These are largely, inhouse performances where I am a well known face and do not have to work on building my image. Stepping on to a public stage, amidst an unknown crowd, standing up to their expectations and winning their hearts is my next pursuit.
This story is inspired by the 100 day storytelling initiative by Your Story Bag. This is my story for day 23/100 of #2023TheStoriedWay
