Negotiations are power struggles; with ourselves or with fellow humans. Negotiations can sap the energy out of us or leave us feeling fulfilled and triumphant. They are essentially barter systems of the present day, where intangible currencies are exchanged. We learn the art of negotiation as early as in toddlerhood, when we make a pact with the parent for a scoop of ice cream, in exchange for the promise of good behavior. The deal is, more often than not, in the favor of our little versions, thanks to the melting gazes and innocent smiles we carried, back then. Every interaction in our life that involves a compromise, helps us perfect the art. Great negotiators make both the parties involved feel like a winner, even if it is far fetched from the truth.
Empathy is an essential quality for effective negotiation. And empathy is always not about lending a shoulder to cry on. Knowing what is in it for the other person, understanding his/her core strengths, weaknesses, needs and beliefs is key to a meaningful negotiation. Just like in a game of chess, one has to foresee the counter moves of the other player, for every more that we make, to succeed in the game of negotiation. We should also be clear and conscious on what we are ready to let go off, to get the outcome that we desire. It is important to fortify ourselves to the extent that we are never in a position to give up elements close to our heart. Drawing the line on non-negotiable aspects is crucial. Negotiation also involves fair play. If judicious choices are not presented to either player, it just ends in a checkmate.
Active listening is an important ingredient in negotiation, especially if we are attempting to convert a conflict scenario into one of negotiation. Bringing the sparring parties to common ground and establishing a common goal for them, is the starting point. When a conflict turns into a conversation, even if laden with arguments, it opens doors for negotiation. Keeping a tab on emotions and use of derogatory words plays a vital role in these delicate situations. Negotiation cannot be forced. It is a consensual act and either parties have to be clear on their goals and outcomes.
Negotiations give us opportunities to leverage our position and/or power. Using these wisely and judiciously can yield great results. It can also prevent future conflicts, Negotiators build bridges, long and strong, that their benefits last long. Being strategic about negotiation and preparing for the conversation before hand is inevitable. Going into negotiation meetings unprepared can prove detrimental and cause undesired results. Like any form of art, practice makes negotiation perfect.
This story is inspired by the 100 day storytelling initiative by Your Story Bag. This is my story for day 22/100 of #2023TheStoriedWay
