The lark is on the wing,
The snail is on the thorn,
God is in his heaven
And all is right with the world!
How wonderful it would be to live in this idyllic, utopian world, where there is absolute bliss and harmony! No quarrels or conflicts!
Reality, unfortunately, is starkly different. Conflicts have been prevalent ever since stone age. Inter-tribe fights were so common in those times that, early humans needed something stronger to stop these fights. They spun stories of imaginary enemies, to find common ground among the sparring entities and aided them to fight together against the enemy, and not against each other.
Differences are characteristic of human evolution, differences of thoughts, deeds and appearances. Acknowledging these inevitable and intricate differences and learning to co-exist is the key to a blissful life. But, this is seldom the case. People like to exert their superiority over others, in thoughts, words and actions, at every possible opportunity. Modern day homosapiens demonstrate ‘survival of the fittest’ by waging wars, often verbal, against their co-inhabitants and take pride in winning over them. These disputes help them establish their hidden powers and supremacy.
I avoid conflicts like the plaque. At least in my personal space. I detest getting into ceaseless arguments and accusations with my tribe. However my professional space, inhabited by dozens of coworkers, is never devoid of conflict. I can explain the Thomas-Killman model of conflict management on a white board and write essays on handling conflict at the workplace. As a people leader, I have dealt with conflicts of varying degrees, innumerable times, though these were totally undesirable and sometimes unintentional. There have been situations, when I had to show the door to people who did not fit in, and who spread negativity in the team. I executed these decisions without flinching. When I had to resolve a seething dispute between two or more members in the team, I saw myself transform into a monk, whose sole aim in life was to restore peace and justice in the world. Though playing referee between sparring parties is not my cup of tea, I manage to settle these wars quite amicably, in the right(eous) way.
Ignoring these conflicts is not an option. Leaders don’t flee the war. They enable warriors to fight it or persuade them to wave the white flag. The demands of leadership and my primal need for inner and outer peace are always at loggerheads. Striking a balance and propagating the theory of “Live and let live”, has been my strife in corporate life. I have succeeded many a times, thanks to years of perseverance and training, and failed at times, learning key lessons in the process. I have come to terms with the fact that, conflict is omnipresent (and omnipotent too) and it is fruitful to develop the ability to handle conflicts in the right way, than to keep them out of sight. We become better humans and better leaders as we navigate the labyrinths of a conflict. It seasons us and prepares us for better co-existence, as we go through the roller coaster of evolution.
This story is inspired by the 100 day storytelling initiative by Your Story Bag. This is my story for day 10/100 of #2023TheStoriedWay
